The Presence and Grace
of a
Snowy White Owl
by Jacqueline Turpin
On October 29th, 1993, a cold and windy day, family and friends were gathered around Louis. The doctor announced that Louis would be leaving us at any moment. Knowing of my brother’s enormous fear of death, the doctors told us that Louis was fighting all the way and had no intentions of letting go. The doctor assured us that Louis was no longer in pain. With my parents’ guidance and faith in God, we gathered even closer to Louis, each one of us holding onto one another as the end was approaching. As each of us held onto Louis with all our courage and faith, we spoke painful words of encouragement so that Louis could sense our support, and know he coul let go, and leave in peace.
As I lifted my head towards Louis you could sense his exhaustion for every breathe; for every breath taken life was raging for another chance. As I looked beyond my brother I saw my family torn with fear and pain, testing faith like it had never been tested before. These were faces and feelings I had never seen and tried hard to understand. All I wanted to do was cry out, cry to the heavens above. Life is not always what you expect and waiting for death is not what I expected.
I questioned my values, my beliefs and my love for God, yet in the same breath I learned the meaning of true love. This was a gift from Louis. Learning to let go of someone you love is the greatest test in life, letting go of God's greatest gift.
As we held onto Louis, I noticed my younger brother looking towards the waters with an astonished look. Within seconds my other brother found himself also looking away from Louis onto the waters. Astounded and frustrated with what they were doing, I to, turned towards the window only to see the most beautiful sight, an enormous Snowy Owl, she was breathtaking. She stood at the edge of the property perched between water and land, like Louis was between life and death. With no explanation each one of us would take turns between the window and Louis feeling an incredible presence amongst us. We all knew that she was here to bring Louis back with her. Her presence filled the room with great anxiety and we recognized her purpose.
We had never seen such a bird as this Snowy Owl. Yet we all knew she was a part of a new world. Time was passing, this Snowy Owl looked upon my brother with softness from the heavens. She would look towards the northern skies and back to Louis as if to motion the path to come, a bridge that my brother was now to cross along side the wings of life. Anxious hearts were beating louder and faster as we all admired this graceful bird. The moment had arrived, Louis was lifted from our hearts and home with graceful wings and wisdom of life.
I knew Louis’ spirit had been lifted from us and yet he was very much with us. I left the house and walked towards this enormous bird who would carry my brother on her wings and asked her to keep him safe.
She flew with enormous and powerful wings into the northern cold winds over crashing waves, unspoken, carrying his spirit and dreams. Some of us stood outside wanting one last flight, hoping for another to share before she crosses the waters forever. This moment filled my heart and dreams, truly lifting my soul. Love is alive even though we must part.
I was never to see this owl again but only in my dreams, as I hold her close to my heart. Louis’ soul is wild and free just like the Snowy Owl. An experience that came with no direction, adding to our journey, true colours of love.
Louis told me that he learned the meaning of ADIEU before dying and believed we would see each other again, with GOD... “ADIEU”, he said.
Jacqueline Turpin
"Reproduced with permission - Jacqueline Turpin"
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